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It Ain’t Easy (Personal Update)

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I am being guided to write a short summary of my own situation. There won’t be any intel here so if the personal posts aren’t your thing then you are free to disregard this post. Forgive me if I get very real and blunt in this post!

These last few months have been, literally, some of the worst days of my life so far. Work at the hospital has been very stressful, to say the least. Most people have no idea about the stupidity and nonsense that goes on inside of a hospital. I have written about this previously. Of course I am grateful to have a job as many do not have one at the moment, but this doesn’t mean that I don’t get upset or frustrated with the stuff that goes on there, especially since I am aware that I am not really helping any patients at all. Although I am still human and do need to express myself.

I have been experiencing a tremendous amount of some kind of attack or something where I suddenly become very upset and then very angry. Like pitch black pure evil angry. Like I could blow up the planet angry. It is occurring more and more frequently with the other day being the worst so far. I had a dream once where I broke into the NSA with another agent and found myself peering into a screen which depicted the darkest blackest most evil potential level of consciousness possible. This is the rage that I have been experiencing.

I kick things and break things and I usually always cry. This is followed by an enormous headache and a great amount of regret and guilt as I usually break something or yell at my turtles or snake. It is not something I have been able to control, only manage until I can find someplace private to let it take its course. This is normally accompanied or intertwined with panic attacks (result of not being good enough, or thorough enough or not being able to live up to what I expect of myself, in addition to all other adult responsibilities.)

Strangely enough, this is also a time where I have been experiencing the most amazing times of my life so far. I have been privileged to be working with the most amazing lightworkers on this planet.

Today was not a very good day, however. Last night I had two dreams where I was stabbed in the stomach. I was trying to be brave and protect those I was with. They got away safely but I sustained a severe injury to my abdomen, twice.  Today I found out that this dream was prophetic (I didn’t actually get stabbed physically) as I was scheduled to go to court for a large amount of old credit card debt. A judgement was entered against me (this seemed to be a financial stabbing) with two more cases by the same debt collector set to be going to court soon also.

To summarize that situation, I was working nights and could easily afford the payments as people get paid more for working nights in the hospital. But my body was not doing so well and I knew I would be forced to stop paying on some of them in order to revert back to a day schedule and regain my health.

As I have mentioned before, the name of the company’s CEO is Todd, and if you drop one of the Ds you are left with Tod, which in German means death strangely enough.

In any case I would also like to include some of the ascension symptoms that have been manifesting also. As I mentioned earlier not everything is gloomy. BTW this is a personal list and not meant to represent everyone else’s experiences:

These are just some of the ones I have been experiencing lately. Also, honestly, half of me is saying/feeling everything is going to be okay, and the other half is saying that I will become homeless before The Event happens. Lol. If the latter is the case, I can only hope that people are as kind to me as I am to those homeless I help. I wish each of you much love as always.

PS Here are some cool synchronicities that I have been experiencing lately:

I was watching The 4400 the other day and paused it on a screen during the 4th season episode 10 and 4/10 being my birthday, which I see frequently. 138 is the numerical designation for the street I live on and the time 10:00 is something I also see frequently. To me this indicates completion as does my birthday which is the 100th day of the year:

144 is another number that I see frequently. These are just a small sample of the many that I see on a daily basis:

Interestingly, one of the blogs I follow sent out a notification to one of their posts and it happened to be my 2,222nd e-mail:

I was also watching The Day the Earth Stood Still (the old one) and I had to pause it to do something and when I did I noticed it was paused at 1:11:11:

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