It Ain’t Easy (Personal Update)

I am being guided to write a short summary of my own situation. There won’t be any intel here so if the personal posts aren’t your thing then you are free to disregard this post. Forgive me if I get very real and blunt in this post!

These last few months have been, literally, some of the worst days of my life so far. Work at the hospital has been very stressful, to say the least. Most people have no idea about the stupidity and nonsense that goes on inside of a hospital. I have written about this previously. Of course I am grateful to have a job as many do not have one at the moment, but this doesn’t mean that I don’t get upset or frustrated with the stuff that goes on there, especially since I am aware that I am not really helping any patients at all. Although I am still human and do need to express myself.

I have been experiencing a tremendous amount of some kind of attack or something where I suddenly become very upset and then very angry. Like pitch black pure evil angry. Like I could blow up the planet angry. It is occurring more and more frequently with the other day being the worst so far. I had a dream once where I broke into the NSA with another agent and found myself peering into a screen which depicted the darkest blackest most evil potential level of consciousness possible. This is the rage that I have been experiencing.

I kick things and break things and I usually always cry. This is followed by an enormous headache and a great amount of regret and guilt as I usually break something or yell at my turtles or snake. It is not something I have been able to control, only manage until I can find someplace private to let it take its course. This is normally accompanied or intertwined with panic attacks (result of not being good enough, or thorough enough or not being able to live up to what I expect of myself, in addition to all other adult responsibilities.)

Strangely enough, this is also a time where I have been experiencing the most amazing times of my life so far. I have been privileged to be working with the most amazing lightworkers on this planet.

Today was not a very good day, however. Last night I had two dreams where I was stabbed in the stomach. I was trying to be brave and protect those I was with. They got away safely but I sustained a severe injury to my abdomen, twice.  Today I found out that this dream was prophetic (I didn’t actually get stabbed physically) as I was scheduled to go to court for a large amount of old credit card debt. A judgement was entered against me (this seemed to be a financial stabbing) with two more cases by the same debt collector set to be going to court soon also.

To summarize that situation, I was working nights and could easily afford the payments as people get paid more for working nights in the hospital. But my body was not doing so well and I knew I would be forced to stop paying on some of them in order to revert back to a day schedule and regain my health.

As I have mentioned before, the name of the company’s CEO is Todd, and if you drop one of the Ds you are left with Tod, which in German means death strangely enough.

In any case I would also like to include some of the ascension symptoms that have been manifesting also. As I mentioned earlier not everything is gloomy. BTW this is a personal list and not meant to represent everyone else’s experiences:

  • Ringing in the ears
  • More prophetic dreams
  • Better telepathic abilities (I can ‘know/feel/hear’ what people are going to say before they say or do it)
  • Everyday is an emotional roller coaster and it’s consistently inconsistent
  • Increased ability in manifesting
  • Receiving more ‘impressions’ and ‘ideas’ for articles and videos
  • Being very forgetful
  • Fatigue
  • High energy
  • Euphoria
  • Seeing ‘flashes’ while eyes are closed
  • Increased synchronicities (numerical, situational etc.)
  • Less tolerant for toxic people and situations (except work, gotta have money for the time being)
  • Less able to subsist on solid food (I get brain fog badly when eating only solid food, regardless of whether it’s raw or junk food)
  • Being guided/reminded to practice unconditional love and forgiveness

These are just some of the ones I have been experiencing lately. Also, honestly, half of me is saying/feeling everything is going to be okay, and the other half is saying that I will become homeless before The Event happens. Lol. If the latter is the case, I can only hope that people are as kind to me as I am to those homeless I help. I wish each of you much love as always.

PS Here are some cool synchronicities that I have been experiencing lately:

I was watching The 4400 the other day and paused it on a screen during the 4th season episode 10 and 4/10 being my birthday, which I see frequently. 138 is the numerical designation for the street I live on and the time 10:00 is something I also see frequently. To me this indicates completion as does my birthday which is the 100th day of the year:

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144 is another number that I see frequently. These are just a small sample of the many that I see on a daily basis:


Interestingly, one of the blogs I follow sent out a notification to one of their posts and it happened to be my 2,222nd e-mail:

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I was also watching The Day the Earth Stood Still (the old one) and I had to pause it to do something and when I did I noticed it was paused at 1:11:11:

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18 Responses to It Ain’t Easy (Personal Update)

  1. truthearth says:

    Wow what an amazing synchronicity…sounds like you’ve got some serious starseeds in that area creating some high vibes! Thank you for sharing that friend 🙂

  2. Indeed the subject of Consciousness Synchronicity events for awakening people is a huge subject and if l had the time l would love to do a blog on this. Light-workers and awakening people need to see these experiences are because the veils are lifting very gently. Symbols, clouds and formations, messages in 3D form, numbers, graffiti are easily brought forth from ascended teachers angels and our guides if it will assist our awakening. l have had lots, here is some samples. After doing a prana walk with our group this was at the end of the walkway..we were about to get in a car and spirit told me to walk back and look. This perfect heart could not have come from the came from Universal mind.

    Then we came home and on a side street an indigo crystal kid amazing chalk artist finished
    these two pictures…what can l say….but Wow !

  3. thankyourmuse says:

    Dark night of the soul, we all go thru it, but if we get thru it without reaction and transmute the energy into a higher light, the clear light, we can and do get thru it. I am sure that in your profession it is a dark road of daily tyranny, as the medical mafia is not about healing or curing anyone these days. I am sure it weighs on the best of you healthcare workers and the never ending bureaucracy that you all must deal with. Let’s just say that you will probably end up out of that profession and into something more heart oriented after all this because our medical industry is going down the deep dark rabbit hole and many are going out of the country for real healing or cures that our medical mafia won’t allow. Not to mention, they are most times requiring the medical workers being forced to take their poisonous flu vaccines or lose their jobs and the sheeple line up and take it. Synchronicity and your intuition will guide you out of this Daath phase and into a more grounded life, and don’t sweat the financial stuff. The debt can be offset by your commercial name as in all caps and you can file bankruptcy or there is a way out of the system of the matrix that likes to keep you in bondage to the fiat babylonian old world black magic financial system. Take heart that you shaze here what many cannot even understand but are lost too. Thanks for sharing this, look into the UCC codes and the strawman name and how you don’t owe that money and set yourself free. Good luck and hang in there.

  4. Sunny says:

    You don’t have to suffer from this emotional roller coaster. Use your intuition and the internet and find a good naturopath, nutritionist or holistic therapist. These symptoms are related to brain balance issues, which can be improved enormously with holistic treatments.

  5. Brother you are a brave soul.I had and i’m having similar experiences (dreams and symptoms too), so i can feel you deeply.You are doing amazing with all that is happening, Really. Inspiring . it seems that we are tested until the end. may the force be with you and guiding you for the best outcome.. A big hug … Much much much love jonathan.
    Victory of the Light!

  6. williamhotel says:

    Hang in there brother. I am dealing with similar feelings like anger and such. I usually have to say a mantra like, Love, Compassion, Humility several times to calm myself down.
    You are not alone and will not be homeless either. Keep fighting the fight and Victory To The Light!

  7. Elizabeth says:

    Oh you sweet soul, I am so sorry to know you’re going through this. Especially when you’re always the one uplifting others. Please know you’re doing amazing work on all levels, and many MANY people are grateful for everything you do. I hope this lets up on you soon. How lucky those people in the hospital are to have such a brilliant starseed as yourself during their times of need. Please be gentle with (and protective of) yourself. Sooo much love to you <3

  8. I have had those weird bouts of anger in the past. They are hard to deal with. Emotional Freedom Technique helped to deal with whatever was happening in the moment. I hope things improve for you. 🙂

  9. Us all in the comments are now sharing the fact we are all having similar experiences… So a service no?

    This is what I said today: I feel this strange double intuition regarding work. I’ve decided I definitely intend to leave but another emotion I sometimes experience as intuition sometimes stops me from doing so!

    I don’t know what’s with this strange double intuition in opposite directions.

    And thankyou. 12/01 is the big all knowing synchronicity for me. A very meaningful one.

    I experience two amazing intuitions synchronicities recently, but they are personal… heh heh!

    Chiron direct today, the wounds of the world!

  10. Jenn jenn says:

    I have been experiencing some of the same. I believe the Lord us preparing us mentally for the agony we will soon be viewing. Stay strong warrior. God will see us and this through.

  11. endatymes says:

    Many of us are experiencing sleep schedules cycles all over the place and frequent one for me is being awakened at 3:11 a.m. We are feeling a great darkness (evil) that is grinding on our nerves like sand paper. More attacks, but then we know where they are coming from and there are 3 of us in our home to help each other. With the power of the 3 of us in prayer, petitioning and just encouragement and support, we most often do okay, but it’s getting harder. We try not to go out as much as possible between certain hours as we are so aware of people not seeming to be conscious and doing strange things that are behaviors that can cause harm to them or others. So so very much is going on. Must maintain good levels of energy…stay away from meats and milks and other things as much as possible …eat clean as you can grains, home made breads, veggies and fruits and that seems to help keep the mind more clear and body more energy. Do NOT let yourself focus on the negative energies and immediately rebuke the spirits and energies sending them on you. I am a prayer warrior and have been praying for Father’s shield, strength and protection, guidance and wisdom over all of us. Be at peace and set your mind on joy…a big blast is coming before we are removed. This will soon be over for us and starting a hard lesson to awake many others who are selfish, unconcious and self indulgent, not lovers of others, but takers and haters, with such deep scars on the soul from the enemy. They still have free will and in this they must make the loving and good choices and if not….it is not good and that is very sad. Keep your chin up! It will not be long now.

  12. soulsong44 says:

    I admire that you’ve shared and expressed some of what you are experiencing. I feel guided to offer support. If you’d like to read a little about me on my wordpress page, and feel guided to reach out, please do so. I had people appear along my journey when I was in times of need, it would be great to pay that forward. Would be happy to dialogue and support you, Johnathan. Much love~

  13. Tracy Kruse says:

    I hear you. I really do. I have been there, especially with the anger. I did not resolve it on my own, it was debilitating so it ended up that I needed two steps. First, I contacted Eric Raines who is an amazing entity attachment healer…and while I won’t go in to it here, there was a reason that I was angry….and it was black magic interdimensional. After that, I contacted James Gilliland at ECETI, where I had a clearing of old wounds, traumas and past lives and misunderstandings. He has a youtube channel, ECETI Stargate official where there is a Cazekiel Wheel meditation that you might like. I share this as it is Very Significant that you work at a hospital, a place of blood and suffering, and my experience was in similar employ. There is an attractant to that environment and well, it ain’t pretty. 8/ There ia a Healing Negative Influences in most of James’ books and I think it is even on the website for printing. If not, call and they will email it to you. My husband (medicine) does it many times a day and I do as well. Once you get that going, life gets much easier. I wish you wellness and blessings.

  14. Ann says:

    Well, for what it is worth, I enjoy your articles and I am glad you’ve dared to share your experiences. Many of the more annoying symptoms eventually lessen over time for most everyone on this path. Good luck!

  15. Cate says:

    Stay strong my friend,may 14400 angels gather and protect you….mom.

  16. Eliza Ayres says:

    Courage, Jonathan. You’re under attack when you get into those black moods. I use daily a simple shielding by calling in Archangel Michael and requesting a Ring-Pass-Not around my person (and my vehicle, electronics, and residence). The RPN acts as a barrier preventing any energy that is less than unconditional Love to penetrate your auric field. You will still feel others emotions, but you need not react to them. I used to work in a prison hospital. I do understand the pointless politics and manipulations that go on in such a setting, with nurses competing with physicians and both looking down at support staff. You are a talented, forward-looking young starseed. There is Hope. Have faith and gratitude for those things you do have in your life now. You are greatly loved and never alone. Cmdr. “Sunny” VaCoupe

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