StarShip Earth Airlines™ (Humor)

We at Galactic Pleroma Industries would like to thank you for choosing our airline company StarShip Earth Airlines as your trusted source for high-quality excellence for incarnation experience. We know you have many places to choose from and we are glad you chose us.

We would like to notify all passengers that we will be experiencing some..mild turbulence as this incarnation cycle comes to a final close and this planet becomes a 4th Density and beyond plane of existence and evil is eradicated completely from the Cosmos for all Eternity.

Some of StarShip Earth’s passengers may experience the following behaviors and symptoms as we continue our flight out of the 3rd Density plane of existence into a 4th Density time-less state of love and bliss:

  • Blind Rage
  • End-Times Madness
  • Confusion
  • Unprovoked Racism and Hatred
  • Loss of Eyelashes
  • An Increased Difficulty in Choosing Between Soup or Salad
  • An Inability to Deal with Stupid Shit
  • Radical Dietary Changes
  • Bouts of Unconditional Love and Happiness (Hang on to this one as long as you can)
  • The Desire to Carve-Up Someone You’ve Always Hated
  • Sudden Crying over Kicking a Rock
  • Crying over Throwing Away a Banana Peel
  • Arguing with People Online Whose Opinions Won’t Ever Change
  • In Increased Suspicion of all Russian Citizens Being Hackers and Working for Putin

We regret to inform our incarnates that these symptoms aren’t negotiable and that each one of you will experience any one or more of these behaviors in less or even extreme intensity in the coming days, week and months. Thank you for your cooperation.

We would also like to remind you that passengers are not being allowed to leave the aircraft and will have to endure the entire duration of the transition until the final incarnate is finished clearing away their unresolved anger by snapping the last of their 2,453 pencils in half. Need we remind you of your agreement to the conditions here with your Spiritual Light-Blood Signature? We apologize for the inconvenience.

Galactic Pleroma Industries is completely dedicated to your Ascension and completion of this flight through the highly energetically charged portion of this galaxy and will be here to assist you with your needs. If you have any concerns please ask your guides and higher selves for further advice and assistance.

If we could guide your attention to the pamphlets in front of you we should be coming up on a dramatic increase of these galactic energies momentarily and thus a new level of complete madness and euphoria will ensue. Your safety is our biggest concern so we have provided each passenger with a personal Pleroma Shield Generator® in order to protect you from people triggered by the Cabal using exotic scalar weapons and those who have been holding back the urge to scoop your eyes out with a rusted dinner fork as a result of past conflicts. These generators will be provided free of charge.

It is with deep regret that we inform Earth incarnates that irrational and random lashing out may occur without reason, especially regarding posts on the internet website you call ‘Facebook’. For those who are trying to awaken and help others, we advise extreme caution and consideration for your own safety and well-being as these individuals may be on the cusp of unloading lifetimes of suppressed emotions and feelings onto anyone who looks at them wrong.

We at Galactic Pleroma Industrieswould like to thank you all for your cooperation, contribution and patience as we navigate our way out of this shit-storm of a reality and towards our final destination of the the much-awaited Golden Age. Our estimated time of arrival is in the blink of an eye. Thank you and enjoy your flight.

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9 Responses to StarShip Earth Airlines™ (Humor)

  1. Jamie says:

    Thank you for the laugh, brilliant!!

  2. Pingback: StarShip Earth Airlines™ (Humor) – Deutsche Übersetzung | Kokopelli Bee Free Blog

  3. Pingback: StarShip Earth Airlines™ (Humor) | Kokopelli Bee Free Blog

  4. Bitte schön, Jonathan! 🙂
    Although it challenged my translation skills it was fun and felt very uplifting to work with your post. It did something strengthening with me on an energetic level. Thank you for writing it and letting me share it.
    I plan for it to be published on Friday, the 27th of January at 9 am CET. You will receive a pingback each for the English post referring to your original post and for the German post with my translation as well as mentioned links to your post and blog.
    Much love and a happy day to you,

  5. truthearth says:

    Thank you Stefanie for the kind words. I’m pleased that you enjoyed the post! By all means share it wherever you’d like. Danke schön! (This is some of the only German I know!)

  6. Hi Jonathan,
    Thank you for the great write-up!
    I loved it so much that I intend to share a link to this post on my blog at the end of the coming week. As about half of my readers are German and I have a bilingual blog, I also have written a German translation for your blog post above. Would it be ok for you if I publish that translation on my blog? I will provide links to your blog and your original post, of course.
    Much love,

  7. lol I fell off my chair 10 times, my laughing makes me run for a wee… Wee so need this joke-and-wisdom recipe, in between the rattling of sabres. I’m excited as a child, the journey is worth it.
    “Bouts of Unconditional Love and Happiness” Ha! Thanks a bunch!.

  8. truthearth says:

    Will do…

  9. Jordan Moore says:

    Delete this please thx.. Had to change a word that was chose from anger

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