(Note: The victim country will be surrounded by military bases controlled by Washington D.C. and NATO)
United States: Hey there [insert
victim country name here]!
Country: Hey there, friend! How is it going?
United States: Well you know just another day ruling over the world and spreading our empire as far out as possible, leaving a trail of dead smoldering bodies and infrastructure behind us. Speak of the devil, we noticed you had some really nice and juicy gold mines and we just wanted to know if you would want to share it with us.
Country: Umm…I don’t think so, we need these mines as our country doesn’t have a lot to export or trade. We are very poor as you know.
United States: Oh…mmm…yeah see we don’t like that answer. Let’s cut right to the chase, ‘friend’. Either give us total access and control over our new gold mines or we will really f*** your s*** up. You are familiar with our work in Libya, Iraq and Syria? Make the right choice.
Country: NO! We refuse. We have our sovereignty and dignity. Besides, who the f*** are you to just show up here and claim something that is OURS is now YOURS? Why don’t you p*** off and mind your own business? Deuces.
United States: Okay have it your way. 🙂 *Sends in NATO and other military personnel, destroys country and bombs the hell out of civilians.*
United States: *Presidential address to the people* “Well after a round of ‘talks’ with the TERRORIST president of the country of [insert newly destroyed country and assassinated president here] we have succeeded in bringing democracy to this beautiful land of Decimated-istan. Rejoice fellow Americans as we spent $500 Billion of your dollars to make this happen. It was money well spent.”