I just wanted to do a short update about some of these symptoms and synchronicities I have been experiencing. This is a personal post and isn’t intended to represent what is happening to everyone else. Forgive me for my being candid and upfront about these things but I feel it’s important to be as real and as honest about this stuff as possible because I am sure it is happening to many of you.
I have been experiencing many ‘crash and burns’ lately, especially with my diet. I will become very anxious and feel as though I am not doing something right. Most days I feel great and there is nothing that affects me. Although I had a very bad day at work yesterday and I kept thinking ‘I don’t know if I am doing anything right’ over and over.
I felt a lot of the following recently and especially yesterday:
- Anxiety about what to do next in general in regards to this whole planetary situation
- Feelings of unworthiness or that I am annoying people with my posts and videos
- Wondering how much longer we have to wait for The Event to happen
- Feeling lost and wondering if what I am doing is the right thing to do or say or write about
- Lots of feelings of uncertainty and insecurity (which leads me to eat unhealthy food which puts me in a worse state of mind)
- Being in victim mode (which I don’t usually do as it blocks abundance and manifesting positive outcomes)
- Feeling angry about the divide and conquer tactics used on the surface population that are working (part of my bad day yesterday was my co-workers talking down about transgender people right in front of me, which I did my best to defend myself and them)
- I have no idea what’s going to happen next in general and it is scary to think about, but I know it will be positive
There are many amazing things and events happening too and the stuff I listed above isn’t happening all the time but it does seem to be happening in cycles for me. I am happy, then I get anxious in general, then I eat poorly, then I feel worse, then I break down and cry and then I feel great again. And the time in between each event is getting shorter and shorter. It’s quite taxing…I can’t tell if this is supposed to be happening or not but I am getting ‘just go with the flow’ so I guess it has to be happening for a reason.
Today I am recovering from a break down yesterday and still feel a bit ‘eh’ but am coming around. I decided against posting about this at first but a synchronicity in my e-mail I received a little bit ago guided me otherwise. Perhaps someone needed to hear this, or maybe not. Either way it’s out now. This synchronicity came as a bill notification. I didn’t pay enough for my energy bill and the remainder I owed was $1.44…Lol.
Light and love everyone.